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The Day the Earth Stood Still
The Day the Earth Stood Still commonly refers to a D Team softball game that occurred on April 7, 2013. Knights suffered a stifled comeback in a close 16-17 loss while previously being down 3-17 after three innings. 300px|thumb|A picture from the historic game. Background Knights and TNT had a long, illustrious history in sports that has painted a rivalry that typically cues players and the crowd to go up and beyond in intimidation techniques. This would include dressing appropriately for both the players and crowd. Games for softball had been delayed for two weeks with Spring Sing and a week of rain. This delay had caused for Gowan to schedule games on a weekend. Gowan had infamously stopped a D team championship game back in Spring 2011 to tell the sides they had to play more serious. No one believed him. Will Reno was asked to ump and probably shouldn't have due to his ban. Max Michael and Josh West stuck around for a bit. Max rode his bike for the hour while West left after finding out he couldn't sneak on as Woody Seagren. There were multiple errors on the field but the ensuring chaos was cemented at the start of the game. Multiple players had dressed in their best attire and brought their fan fiction Mormon novels, complemented with McDonalds food and drink. Before the first pitch, an intramural "worker" informed both teams to switch fields so they could "close" the field Knights and TNT were starting on. They moved north to another field, kicked off an Omega Phart and BOX scrimmage, began playing on the new field, and the moved scrimmage continued on the "closed" field, confusing everyone why the switch even occurred. The Game Errors were not given to TNT because of the KniFanSof, which guarantees RBIs on every occasion. Perhaps half a dozen occurred, in all reality. The visiting side jumped out to a commanding lead by scoring 12 runs in the first inning. Jared Dryden had been practicing on his release (a flamboyant hand flick) and ended up with only one earned run with the excess of errors in the inning. Nevertheless, the tired Dryden was replaced with Athletic Director Thomas Stafford at the start of the next inning. Knights were so unorganized that they did not know their own batting order, which Andrew Mauldin had compiled. Stafford, Blark, Dryden, and Drew (who had placed himself at the clean up position while compiling the roster) only combined for one hit and did nothing to close the 12 run gap. TNT's pitching was shamefully low pitched balls that occasionally raised above the batter's head. Matt Flowers "played" catcher but mostly talked to the umpire Reno. With Stafford now pitching, TNT scored only one run in the second inning. The steam had probably been deflated when Flowers injured himself by sliding into second base, for whatever reason. Knights performed better at the plate in the second inning, scoring three runs and batting around once. But after TNT batted once again, the 3-17 scored looked like an impossible length to return from. The bottom of the third inning started with 15 minutes, as the first inning had taken nearly 25 minutes to complete after batter after batter continued to get onto base because the fielding was so atrocious. Brett Taylor and Taylor Lively led off the inning with hits and then Kalvin Graham approached the plate. The first pitch from the miserable pitcher clearly drilled Graham in the shoulder. As he recovered from rolling on the ground, he limped to first place to load the bases. However, the scorer told Graham to return to the batter's BOX to finish his at-bat. Graham, not happy with this, worked the count to a 3-1 and drew a walk. The next twelve batters all drew a walk and scored a total of 12 runs. Each batter entered the batting box and proved the dismissible pitching by not swinging at one pitch. Occasionally the pitcher would land a pitch in the 12" x 18" strike zone (an event that is supposed to happen fairly regularly in a softball match). TNT was extremely frustrated at their own lack of hand-eye ordination, general sports ability, and sudden realization of how average they all were. Three pitchers pitched in the inning with large pauses between changes to waste time. After being told that the inning would still finish despite the clock hitting zero and a warning from the umpire, the third pitcher yelled. "Oh now we're taking this serious?" The umpire retorted with, "It's a pretty large box to hit." Five players had walked twice in the inning (Graham finished with three walks on the day). With zero outs, and a lead that had dwindled down to two runs, Drew Mauldin got an early strike and was forced to guard the plate. With another strike entering the zone, Mauldin hit a liner to center field. The outfielder caught in, securing the first out, and Thomas Stafford tagged up to close the score to 16-17. On second, Blark advanced to third but overran the base on the throw and ran home for his only option. He was tagged out by the third baseman ("He pushed me down!") and the comeback was immediately threatened. Only one runner remained, Dryden on second base, and Brett Taylor tried to continue the game. TNT landed two strikes in the middle of the strike zone and the game was finished. Aftermath The game started late and finished even later and TNT was extremely annoyed. The public heard an anonymous cry, "We still we wasted their time." Player Interviews 'First Baseman Justin Dority' What happened at the start of the game with you being off roster? Was this an oversight of the scoretable or someone else? "Mauldin wrote down the lineup and turned it in. I asked him what spot I was on the lineup and he told me I was fifth. Then the dudes finished writing the lineup down and gave it back to us, and Mauldin didn't put me on the lineup. I proceeded to call Andrew a dirty liar among other things. Also, since Mauldin made the lineup, he put himself batting cleanup. Didn't he go 0-3? Oh yeah he did." You made a comment "Well at least we wasted their time" at the end of the game. Could you elaborate on that? "I believe it was Kalvin that said earlier, 'I wonder if they'd be more pissed if we came back and won or if we got like 1 point away from winning and then threw the game to just waste their time.' The second option ended up happening, so at the end of the game, shouts out to Kalvin, I said 'Hey at least we wasted their time.'" Are any other comments you'd like to make on the game? Whether it be about you, Knights' or TNT's performance? "A highlight of the game for me was when Dryden was pitching and he got a strike. The guy swung, missed, and Dryden shouted, 'That looked stupid!' ..everyone is uncomfortable.. 'I was talking about my pitch.' ...tension is released and laughter is heard." 'Relief Pitcher Thomas Stafford' Despite being an Athletic Director, you are on D team. Do you think the implied lack of athleticism that you possess challenges your authority? "For me, softball is a sport that I do not take very seriously, however, I thoroughly enjoy participating in softball event. Lack of athleticism... please." A comment was made from your own team, "Now a girl is pitching!" when you filled in for Dryden. How did this affect your pitching? (You finished with one K and 3 ERs/2 IPs) "I had them flogged." Are any other comments you'd like to make on the game? Whether it be about you, Knights' or TNT's performance? "I feel like we did a good thing for the freshmen of TNT and taught them a valuable lesson that you don't have to prove your athletic prowess at a D team softball because frankly, nobody cares." 'Fast Guy Taylor Lively' What were you thinking sitting on the on-deck circle being down one run in the last inning? Were you disappointed in Brett's performance? "I was sitting because my CF was acting up and I thought it was the end." Did you feel any added pressure on you with hot chicks watching you in the crowd? "No Dryden's pants were distracting me." Are any other comments you'd like to make on the game? Whether it be about you, Knights' or TNT's performance? "TNT needs to stop 'reliving' the glory days of when they sat on the bench in high school." 'Utility Player Kalvin Graham' You were the first of 13 straight walks Knights had in the third inning. How responsible do you feel you were to the streak? And explain about the encounter you had with the scoretable after catching a pitch in your shoulder that should have granted you first base. "I know that just because I was the first it may seem logical to attribute the streak to me but really, that would just be a standard case of post hoc ergo propter hoc. A logical fallacy and one which I certainly would not wish to see invoked in this setting. That being said, I just took the advice of a nearby journalist as I approached the plate and hoped the rest of the team would follow suit. They’re all really great guys. The whole team. Just a great group of guys. So blessed to play with them. In my first at-bat, the first or second pitch violently struck my shoulder after I leaned forward a bit to try to get into the path of the ball. After collapsing to the ground and writhing in a fit of blinding pain for 20-30 seconds, I proceeded to first base. I may not know much about base/softball, but I know that you get a base if you get hit! Then, the scoretable bros got all indignant and started trying to say I still had to bat. So, I went to the plate with my now useless left arm dangling by my side and gripped the bat solely in my right (©BlarksBattingStance2013) and, after taking the next two balls, grabbed my base back. Then I scored." Tell us about the thought process behind the "We Will Walk sic You" chant. "I was excited. We were coming back. I sat down on third base (on my way to home) and started to hit my thighs and clap in a *thigh-thigh----clap* sequence and began to belch some of the words that I know to 'We Will Rock You,' hoping some people would catch onto where I was going with it. Then, in the first chorus, at the part where Queen says 'We Will Rock You,' I stood up and screamed 'WE WILL, WE WILL, WALK YOU!!!' and was vocally accompanied by a similar shout from Justin Dority (shout-out). Then I scored." Are any other comments you'd like to make on the game? Whether it be about you, Knights' or TNT's performance? "Really great guys out on the field. Great guys all around. Just some top-notch mediocre athletes trying to have a fun, friendly game and not really too concerned about winning just having fun." 'Third Baseman Brad Clark' Tell us about the unconventional batting method you have. (You were 0-1 with three walks for the day.) "My batting method is nothing short of imitating Jesus Christ performing a miracle every time I take a swing. I developed it after never playing baseball past the age of 4, which is the age that I perfected my unconventional style." In the last inning, when you rounded third wildly and were forced to run home, what was going through your head at the time? "The thoughts that ran through my head during my trek to home plate were those of fear that the TNT member that looked like a melting Nathan Dickerson candle might eat me." Are any other comments you'd like to make on the game? Whether it be about you, Knights' or TNT's performance? "I have no regrets of my actions today and will continue to annoy all other clubs off with my lack of sports knowledge." 'Starting Pitcher Jared Dryden' You were relieved from pitching after giving up 12 runs in the first inning. After Stafford stepped in, a TNT player remarked "Now we have a real pitcher." What are your thoughts on his comment? "It was only 12? I though it was 13. I feel a little better now. The TNT player's comment did actually get to me a little bit. Having given up so many runs so quickly, especially after having thought before the game that my pitches were high-quality, I was very self-conscious and guilt-ridden about the whole situation. I still feel highly responsible for the loss. I am still confused, however, why a TNT player would complain about my pitching after they reacted so well to it." There was a lot of conversation exchange between you and TNT. What was being said? Is it reflective of your relationship between you and TNT? "Most of the conversation I had with TNT fell into the following categories: *1. Conversation with Austin Yates. Austin likes to think that Knights hates him. So I make it very clear to him that I think he's an OK dude. I have a class with him, so I asked him if we had homework due Tuesday, even though I was pretty sure we didn't, and could have asked both my roommate or girlfriend, who are both in the class. *2. Saying very serious but erroneous sports-related comments to the infielders. For example, to TNT's third baseman, I said, "Well if he (Blark) hits it foul to the left then I could stay here or take the sacrifice out to the bag." *3. Saying outright rude or hurtful things to TNT, as jokes. One example is me making fun of the TNT player who missed my pitch. I realized the joke didn't go over well with either team, so I salvaged it with self-deprecation, as Justin detailed. Another example is when, during our great streak of walks, I yelled (directed at our dugout, but actually meant for TNT) "I can't wait to watch every guy in TNT try to strike us out." I yelled this after they had made their second pitching change of the inning." Are any other comments you'd like to make on the game? Whether it be about you, Knights' or TNT's performance? "I don't want to be too hard on Drew, but I did notice two things. The first, as pointed out to me by Taylor Lively, was that we gave up 12 runs in the inning that Mauldin was fielding, but only 5 in the two innings he played catcher. That could be my fault though. The second is that he put himself in the clean-up spot, which tells me that even though I know that Drew is a pretty good judge of other people's athletic abilities, he may sometimes be blinded by delusions of grandeur or the desire to make MVP-caliber plays. He would do much better to embrace a managerial or coaching perspective, and focus on the team's success. Also if he wouldn't have swung at the end he would have struck out, but not caused the double play. That's all." 'Right Fielder Brett Taylor' You were the last out that shorted a massive comeback. Talk about how disappointing that is for you. No comment. A TNT ump was playing right field with you. Why? No comment. Are any other comments you'd like to make on the game? Whether it be about you, Knights' or TNT's performance? No comment. 'Catcher Andrew Mauldin' After picking up the first strike in your last at-bat, you were forced to guard the plate. What was going through your head, knowing you might be responsible for ending the game? "I was hugry. Tired. And wanted to go home." Earlier in the game, the umpire called a strike despite you pointing at another ball mark in the dirt. Later you said that that was the right call. What was the mix up? "I was just testing ump to see if he knew what he was doing." Are any other comments you'd like to make on the game? Whether it be about you, Knights' or TNT's performance? "Naw." Stats Errors were not given to TNT because of the KniFanSof, which guarantees RBIs on every occasion. Perhaps half a dozen occurred, in all reality.